WWGS?: The grand finale

Well, I am about to shut down my Google Voice number and port it over to a SIP line at voipo.com, so I guess this is the end of the fabled What Would Google Say? series. Partially, I am leaving because Google just feels too powerful with all the info they collect on everyone, but the bigger issue is that, deep down, I just know they are going to kill it anyway and roll the features into Hangouts instead, which will be decidedly less useful. To close out the series, though, I leave you with a real doozy.

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Yeah, I don't think he'll be able to get the document that way...

Hi Todd, He is trying to Sandy, the document from her new laptop, tooth printer and Workman, and I think she's but have a code for that. And we don't know what it is. See you. Thanks my dear. You can call me on my cellphone Fine. I think that.

WWGS?: Supposed to be...

Yeah, I'm sure they are.

My friend they supposed to be creator after Tuesday. Bye.

WWGS?: A real what?

I don't think I'd go in there, then.

Hey this is Chad. Please. 206 A real diarrhea. Yeah yeah. Alright, I'll be a little with point or two more loan. I don't think you could join. 230, so we're in there and also, so if you get off and hey trade-off. If you want me to her sale wrote, To, Megan, town. But if you yeah I can't take care school. So yes, put time buyer but just let me know. Bye. Yeah, yes.

WWGS?: What the what?

I don't think I even want to know what the actual message was, I am just going to pretend this is what was actually said on the recording...

I wanna come into our salami. Again, I just wanna soon.

WWGS?: Causing a Roppen

Wow, Google's transcription services were so bad over the holidays, that I just had to dust off the old WWGS? series....


Causing a Roppen? That can't be good.

Hey now it. So why do you that's causing a Roppen it spruce up on everybody's devices here I have been able to download. I podcast from here. If this is wall. And so when i turn off the wi-fi and loaded it on. The regular connection which, by the way. Infinity faster than hours if you can read connections faster than R Y 5. It's download it and it plays of fun. So there's something going on with us as well. Again, not a big deal. Relax. But it also will talk about it. Later. Bye Bye.

WWGS?: Tomorrow until tomorrow

That's peculiar, I have never one entirely new england either.

Hey, it's not. It's Theresa, How are you doing You know I have never one entirely new england. It'll be and If you are so I can. Maybe tomorrow tomorrow because I am here for 2 nights now and tomorrow until tomorrow. So. Please call me. If you if you need to me if you can. Okay thank you bye.

WWGS?: Speaking clear enough

Here's what happens when someone deliberately tries to speak clearly enough for Google Voice to transcribe.  Thank you Google for keeping it real!

Mr. Russell, This is is Josh, common. Speaking clear enough for That's cool, voicemail. System, to pick up. What I am, saying He, but hopefully it's not garbled like all the other W W to be Adams, messages you've gotten. That's all. Have a good day. And come on plus bye bye.

WWGS?: I hope you get to see you

Dude morning to you to.  You're on your way from where?  And yes, I did see myself today, so all is well in that regard.

Okay, my love. It's 8 after 11, and we're on our way from ass out of meet at the we couldn't make it at 8:30. I felt so awful. Dude morning, but I just even as bad as I'm feeling now. I really feel compelled to go to Madison. The kids are excited too. So and lunch is ready, because it's damps left over from last night and part of that of children's choir so I'll be able to do so. Anyway, I hope you get to see you at some point. The well, we're out here. I love you bye.

WWGS?: Baby growing

A call from the womb, perhaps?

Hey Todd, This is baby growing. You did tell me to give you a call because I got a computer problem in you knew you could help me with it. I got your cellphone. I'll call you a little bit later on your cellphone and tell you about it. In case you do wanna call me back. My number is [number withheld] Hey thanks a lot. Bye.

WWGS?: Women bone

Wait, huh?  Are you sure they sell that?

... I want to see if I could if you made it to springs of life yet cos i really i don't know if I have enough we. Christy give me Citi quick or C and then I want to see if you could go by sunshine garden to get some women bone for me, so I will try to call you can. Love you bye.

WWGS?: Dudette to your boot screen

It's dudette to my boot screen... sooooo, is that a good thing?

Hi, this is john Calling from the Apple store for Todd about your computer in the computer testing fine right now. It's a it's not exiting any of the symptoms you described so and it path. All of our testing, so I'm gonna get this to be set up to. Ready for Pickup, I rebooted it multiple times and it's dudette to your your boot screen every single time. So all you need to do is come in with your photo I. D to come and get it and if you have any questions number is [number withheld] extension 5. If you have any specific concerns about the computer itself. Please do make another appointment Apple, dot, com slash like side shopping center, okay. Have a great day. Bye bye.

WWGS?: Coming to terrible?

Here's a real doozy from the Google transcription engine.  I don't know about you, but I always like "coming to terrible".  It's so much fun.  :D

Hey James, It's 2:15 and I'm wondering how I get exempted typical images. Let me know that google imagined the pictures that are coming to terrible. So image. If you have any insight. I love you bye.

WWGS?: I'm believes

That's right, I'm believes... to the E Friday straight, yo!  Here's another Google transcription classic for your viewing pleasure.

Hey Todd. It's versaLock. I think you said you needed information on your investment account, I think you said you needed a ride at check. I'm believes. Anyhow, let me see if I can get you may be some information on that. I'm not really sure if you want me to leave this on your cellphone, or not, but I'll get it. I'll call you back and I'll leave it so just you know. Keep me posted. Okey dokey. Talk to you later. By the way you have $[censored] in your money market okay. [censored] bucks. Okey dokey that says it the E Friday straight. Okey dokey. Call me if you need me. Bye.

WWGS?: You get the happy

Get the happy, okay, I'm right on it.

Hey Todd, [name withheld] spots almost noon on Tuesday. I've got a computer here at the home is a desktop you machines. He was that you know. Hi week. I don't know 5 years old so it's it was running for me in the ended up getting a new H. P and I will come on now. We will start it was working in Creek. Good luck. Kind of all, could you know West course, but I've got a recovery gaskin in the and and I'm on a through the whole deal. Yeah, so if you could you get the happy give me a call back. I'm going the rose today. I can. I can run it by your house. So whatever, it's not working. I don't make it work and I'm grateful for just a trash up. This will put that in the trash, so. Anyway, give me a call back.

WWGS?

WWGS? Before you will understand the phrase, I must explain. I have been using Google Voice (previously GrandCentral) for a while now and I absolutely love it. It has made my life so much easier. Since I am still stuck with AT&T Wireless at the time of this writing (not for much longer, though), Google Voice is priceless. I have my Google Voice number set to ring my office phone and cellphone during the day, and the home number and cellphone in the evenings. During the day, my cellphone is basically a PDA since I can't get any AT&T reception at all in my office. As long as people call my Google Voice number, though, they will still reach me because I can answer the call on my office phone. Brilliant.

One of the features I like about Google Voice is that it will transcribe every voice mail to text and send it to me by email and SMS. Often, I can glance at this to see what the message was about and avoid having to dial in and listen. I love this.

However, sometimes (perhaps that should be most of the time) the transcription is so far off that it can only be considered comic relief in a busy day. I'm cool with that; I can use a good laugh every now and then in my line of work. Seriously, these transcriptions are often just ridiculous.

This isn't Google's fault, though. Think of what they are stuck working with... a recording that is made through a cheap cellphone mic (most of which are terrible), then sent over pathetic cell signals that often drop bits and pieces of the audio to fit the weak bandwidth, and even with background noise and interference in the mix. Given the poor quality of most voice mail recordings, it is probably a small miracle that Google's transcription engine gets as close as it does. Perhaps as networks improve, this will become more reliable.

Until then, though, we have this section of my site, labeled WWGS for What Would Google Say, where I will post the ones that make me laugh out loud so that you can enjoy the hilarity. I've been saving the good ones to give myself a buffer so I could have enough to keep a consistent schedule of posting at least a few a week. So, if you like these, you'll probably want to subscribe to site changes to get alerts when I post new ones. Enjoy!

Peace,
Todd